Q: I started dating this guy my freshman year of college. I broke up with another guy for him because my parents really loved him and I really loved him. After we started dating, he was really sweet and did all kinds of nice things. But one day, he just got tired of it or something and stopped. His home was a couple hours away from the college, and he would go home more weekends than he did before. He would say that he was with his friends all weekend, but he’d turn his phone off and ignore my texts all weekend. One time we got into an argument, and he went home leaving me crying by myself in our dorm building’s hallway. I didn’t hear from him at all until the weekend was over, and he said he just needed a lot of time to think. Then I got a message on Facebook from his ex-girlfriend saying that he had sex with her, and I went to the bathroom crying. I guess he knew what was going on, because I heard him yelling at her on the phone outside for telling me! She said she would never talk to him again, and she didn’t. But for some stupid reason, I still took him back. We were happy for a year after that, even got engaged. But one weekend, during the summer, I drove up to go see him, and I was in a really bad car accident on the way back. An eighteen wheeler drove over my car. I was in the hospital in his home town for a week. My parents said that he never showed up at the hospital, until the day I woke up. He didn’t talk to me for a couple weeks, while I was in recovery at home. When the school year started back up, he came to see me and was really sweet. He acted like nothing had changed. We started getting close again, until one weekend, I didn’t hear from him again, and I knew he was cheating on me. A girl answered his phone, laughed, and hung up. Now he’s back, asking me to be with him. I mean I love him, and he’s the only person I’ve had sex with. Should I stay with him? Can God ever forgive me? Will anyone else ever want me, as this impure person I’ve become?
A: Sweet girl, his WRONG behavior isn’t your behavior. I’m not saying that you didn’t make wrong decisions by continuously staying persistent, or that you can help who you fall in love with, but you seem to have a strong enough intuition to know that he should NOT be behaving this way. Let me inform you, most importantly, that God will ALWAYS forgive you. There is nothing that you can do that will cause Him to not love you completely unconditionally. This boy, however, seems to not be acting the way he should by any means. He needs to mature before he attempts to be in a relationship with anyone. You are not an impure person because you’ve had sex with him. Yes, you should wait to have sex until after marriage, but God still loves you, can forgive you, take the burdens from your body and your obviously beautifully persistent heart. I’m not saying that you should give up on this guy entirely, I’m just saying hold off on the relationship aspect. Try being a friend first. Someone he can rely on and should respect. Until he learns to respect you, he doesn’t deserve you. Have faith. Everyone can change.